For most of the people divorce is a way-out that terminates the unpleasant spousal relationship but, without denying the fact, divorce is a painful process and is one of the most traumatic things of life one undergoes bringing a reeking blow of betrayal, annoyance, anger and doubts. Logically said, divorce is more hurting than a fired bullet for a heart suffering it because, the living conditions are changed and the entire routines of life are altered.

At the present time, divorce has become a very common escape out of the unpleasant marital life. The fact may be explicable for childless couples but, has anyone considered the fact for couples with children? What impact would divorce bring on children if their parents get divorced? And who are the actual sufferer of divorce?

Here, the debate is whether divorce is more damaging for children than the continuation of a troubled marriage.

For divorcing parents, to safeguard their children’s interest is vital throughout the process and there are many things that parents can do to smooth the path for their children as they move through a divorce.

Divorcing parents must resolve their disagreements between themselves without spilling over the anger onto their children. Children are sometimes chipped to avoid the direct hit of the spouse but, children always know they are not reason of their anger. The pre-divorce spousal disputes and even the divorce itself brings a lot of effects on children in terms of behavior, increase in sense of loss which includes great sadness, gloominess, and anxieties, especially on special occasions, such as birthdays, holidays, and school events.

These effects are very commonly seen at almost every stage (i.e. infancy, toddler hood, preschool, school age) a child enhances to.

This misconduct of uneducated spouses is bringing a direct impact on our society. We see it has been an illusionary desire of children (in their childhood or adolescence) to see their parents reunited. This feeling of these children doesn’t do much other than awarding them with immortal feeling of guilt over having been responsible for the divorce; developmental regression; sleep disorders and physical complaints. Some researchers have also discovered that divorce has been directly linked with emotional and behavioral problems, school dropout rates and crime rates.

This is not less than a disaster that more than 1 million children experience their parents’ divorce each year. According to the data from the U.S. Census Bureau, around 58 percent of children live with their biological parents; about 27 percent of them are living with their biological mother only; and about 5 percent live with their biological father only whereas the remaining 10 percent live their step parents, menages or their relatives.

Furthermore, it was also estimated that up-to 31 percent (20 million) of children in the United States, representing 11.9 million families, lived in single-parent households whereas the number of single mothers has remained constant at 9.9 million, the number of single fathers has grown from 1.7 million to 2 million in couple of years. The study showed that 19.8 million children lived with one parent and amazingly out of this huge figure 16.5 million lived with their mother and 3.3 million with their father.

Thus, in a literal meaning, divorce breaks families into parts. But one can debate on the topic for the relief and ease that it brings to the horrible marital life. Therefore, wouldn’t it be wise to think twice before patching-up a relationship that lasts not for more than few years and ends up with a divorce, which is a complete misery for you at the present and for your children every now and then.

“Over 60% of re-marriages end in re-divorce.” I frequently get asked, “Why is the divorce rate higher?” People state confusion over this because they believe that since they’ve been divorced once before, they’ll know the danger signs to look for and they are more determined to have what they call a “successful” marriage.

All of that sounds good, but let’s look at what the realities are. The following are some of the most common reasons for a higher divorce rate in remarriage.

A remarriage has one of the same partners who were present in your last marriage. Most people don’t take the time to evaluate WHAT went wrong. They just assume the problem was the WHO. Unfortunately that’s not the case. It’s important to look at what happened to cause the marriage to deteriorate. While it’s tempting to assume that your ex-spouse was the problem, they weren’t 100% responsible. Without taking time to look at YOUR part in the marriage’s demise, you are destined to repeat the similar, if not the same, mistakes.

A divorce experience doesn’t suddenly reveal special awareness of relationship danger signs. Unfortunately, people jump into new relationships way too quickly after their divorce. They are not truly prepared to be in a committed relationship in the way that a new marriage requires. Most people are still reeling from the many changes and/or losses they experienced as a result of their divorce. Continuing to be wrapped up in what happened in your last marriage doesn’t build a stable foundation for a new marriage.

Remarriage commitment is less than in a first marriage. By being in a remarriage, it means one member of your couple has been married before. If the previous marriage ended in divorce that means a conscious decision was made to terminate the marriage. That’s a boundary which was crossed over. After that boundary is breached once, it is much easier to come to that conclusion again. Divorce isn’t an unknown entity. You may not have liked it but you endured it. Because of this, it becomes a more viable option than it did in a first marriage as soon as things get rough.

A step family is an unknown in our society. Step families are quickly becoming the most common family unit, but does anyone have a clue how they are supposed work? We still base our ideas of family on the old standard of a nuclear family (mom, dad, and their biological children.) A step family does NOT fit this mold. When new step families see that their family doesn’t come close to resembling what they expected, it’s common for them to start questioning their decision to remarry.

Divorce is painful. There’s no getting around it. You hurt, you ex-spouse hurts, and your children hurt. Rather than running to the altar because you’re “in love”, take time to step back and prepare. Don’t put yourself and your children through the pain of another divorce. Be wiser. Be a better partner rather than just looking for a better one.